David Caruso - One Obvious Exception

Watching CSI Miami can be a torturous experience for anyone who gets irritated by Icon of Idiocy David Caruso like the following blogger:

..... but now I love to hate CSI Miami. First almost every main character on the show is ridiculously good looking and apparently extremely talented.
The one obvious exception is David Caruso, who clearly does not belong in Miami, I can’t even imagine the makeup and lighting needed to have him on this show. He sticks out like a sore thumb.
Not just visually, he is a total one note actor, and his note strikes discord with the other characters, even the extras. He’s like this serious brooding guy with a pseudo bad attitude, and he just comes off as retarded. I actually don’t like the scenes he’s in, everyone else is fine.
Best Week Ever once made fun of him for this, and I didn’t realize how right they were......

Found on:
http://natalietootie.com/2009/02/18/csi-miami/

David Caruso - Keystone Kops

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's/CSI Miami's continuous steep decline into unwatchable comedy territory is best described in the follwing most memorable comment:

.....But when you're talking about something like "CSI: Miami," craft advancement obviously isn't the point, getting paid is.
"CSI: Miami" is one of the forensics trilogies, surely the prettiest, with South Beach in hot pinks and bright greens and Disney-colored water, and female forensics employees in brief skirts and breezy tops appearing to have just come out of a cake at a coach's convention, not the morgue.

"CSI: Miami" is surely the goofiest of not only the crime scene contingent, but of all forensics shows ever made, or ever rejected, and one of the nuttiest cop-type shows of all-time history.

It's the Keystone Kops without bumping into lamp posts, without the pratfalls, but w with the funny logic.
The star of "CSI: Miami" is the gutsy David Caruso, who drives a Hummer to the mass murders and the horse race fixes; never can tell when the meat-wagon van will be full and you might have to toss a few corpses onto the leather seats. He's gutsy because surely he hears things about this show.

Didn't this Caruso guy used to be, well, if not good, better?

Here, he is in charge of solving the unsolvable as he tries without success to establish his sunglasses as a dramatic prop similar to the great Rod Steiger's gum in "In the Heat of the Night."....

Found on:
http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/horse/columns/story?columnist=cronley_jay&id=3861586

David Caruso - The curse of the attention whore

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso ruins every show he has a role in. He sucks up all the attention while other - better actors than him - are being reduced to onlookers and bystanders:

... I'm quite certain that dude was on CSI: Miami with that asshat David Caruso for a few seasons. I can't be entirely sure though, because Caruso hogged up so much of the screen it was hard to tell who else was on the show with him....

Nicely put...

Found on:

http://gheorghe77.blogspot.com/2009/02/happy-presidents-day.html

David Caruso - Sara and Odysseus

A few quarters short of the dollar loon sara - self-proclaimed "stalker-hunter" (haha!) - once again made a complete fool of herself. Ouch!

What else is new, you might ask. True. The poor mite has been making an ass of herself the moment she set up her fun-page.

However, loon saras rant about Odysseus is a new high in stupidity. After reading (and laughing about) her last post we asked ourselves do people in Texas go to school at all and what kind of education do they receive?

Saras deficient education is well documented in brainfarts like the following:

"For those whose required reading never included Homer's Odyssey, a google search will provide as little or as much background you will need.Written around 8 B.C., the Odyssey is a mythological adventure whose protagonist is Odysseus...."

WTF? Mythological adventure? Maybe in Texas, but for the rest of the world who is obviously better educated it is an epic poem. Big difference, sweet cheeks!

Hilarious Keyser's response to sarakannes nonsense:

....Well, this just goes to show that a little Google does not in fact go a long way. Or at least not if you can't understand simple information. First off, the Odyssey is not a "mythological adventure" (whatever that may be), but an epic poem. It was not written around "8 B.C.," and only a person with absolutely no knowledge of the ancient world could say such errant nonsense. The Odyssey was written in a tradition of oral poetry that goes back to the Mycenean Age, but was apparently drawn up in its final form in something like 750 B.C., that is in the eighth century B.C. So, the Loon is off by only about eight hundred years. Certainly says something about the keen analytical skills of this arch-hunter of David Caruso stalkers...

We strongly recommend that sara - if her meager mental capacity allows it - conducts some background research before she bestows her delusional rants onto other people and the Internet .

It also makes one wonder if ALL Icon of Idiocy David Caruso fans are complete loons like sara, dodo and their two hangers-on . And what does that tell us about Caruso himself? YUCK.

http://keysersozeslair.blogspot.com/2009/02/keyser-is-hero-odysseus.html

http://keysersozeslair.blogspot.com/2009/01/sara-of-stalker-chronicles-infamy.html

http://thestalkerchronicles.blogspot.com/2009/02/david-caruso-lure-of-siren-stalker.html

David Caruso - Dishonorable mention

The following describes Icon of Idiocy David Caruso so perfect that we don't feel the need to comment on that. Read and enjoy:

....David Caruso: I can use his real name because I don't care what he thinks... there are enough people that hate him, we could get a class action suit together and legally prevent him from breeding.
Who was the mud brain that decided to cast this piece of crap as the lead role in a crime drama.
It seriously looks like Richie Cunningham and Dirty Harry bumped uglies out back of the Blue Moon Bar and Gay parenting clinic and nine gruesome months later, this red headed creepy infant popped out of a bung hole and whispered "Waaaa" and removed its sunglasses with a sideways glance at the abomination of a doctor whore who delivered it.
I seriously don't see how anyone on the cast of this show can keep a straight face... Oh yeah because Caruso is so tough.. they are all afraid of what might happen if they get the carrot topped pipsqueak upset.....

Found on:
http://thingsihateaboutu.blogspot.com/2008/06/david-caruso-dishonorable-mention.html

David Caruso - Caruso without make-up..

Ever wondered how Icon of Idiocy David Caruso might look like BEFORE the hair and make-up crew at CSI Miami starts working on him? Ughhhh....
Well, we can tell you it is not a pretty sight...LOL


mutate any photo on myjokecafe.com

David Caruso - The naked truth!

They say, the truth stands alone. We agree. Especially when we come across comments on Icon of Idiocy David Caruso like the following:

.....Thanks! I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks this dude is UGLY and a BAD actor. I don’t even watch the show because I’m so sick of his crap.

GET HIM OFF THE AIR.

In fact, get all the ugly men off TV. Too damn many of them. Start with all the fat asses, bad actors, and newsmen that should have retired 3 decades ago....

CSI MIAMI NO TALENT NEEDED.

Found on:
http://roflrazzi.com/2009/02/15/celebrity-pictures-david-caruso-shades-off/

David Caruso - No Contest

Either you like Icon of Idiocy David Caruso or not. There is no inbetween. Needless to say that the majority of people we come across clearly belongs to the latter:

....A little too soap opera dramatic for you?

yea.. he reminds me of that d00d from CSI: Miami, very annoying. Seeing LOST being compared to a "show" like CSI: Miami makes me nauseous. F'real. CSI:Miami is sickening.
Puhlease.
I'm about to never read this thread again if you people would compare Dan Faraday who is the badass nerd that's gonna save the world to that ass mucher David Caruso.

Seriously.
Caruso = asshat who deserves a folding metal chair to the face.
You're not supposed to take David Caruso seriously on CSI: Miami.......

Found on:
http://week4paug.net/index.php?topic=1684.600

David Caruso - Ouch!

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso loved and well-known around the globe? By no means, like this little tidbit - BTW this happened in NYC - proves:

....Amy brought me to some of the best independent and classic films I've ever seen. And she brought me to some of the worst contemporary Hollywood films I've seen in a long time. She was an avid celebrity-spotter who recently tried to claim David Caruso as a spotting, only to be told by her friends that he wasn't a celebrity anymore....

Ouch!

Found on:
http://blatherreview.mu.nu/archives/cat_war.html

David Caruso - Ape in rags

If it is orange.
If it is wrinkly.
If it is ugly.
If it is Icon of Idiocy David Caruso!!!

We all know that nitwit dojo/dodo would like you to believe that caricatures are meant to honor the targeted subject. Yeah sure...
Well, they say opinions are like assholes - everybody has one. Even someone as delusional as her. But then she likes David Caruso (barf!!!). We think, that explains a lot - especially her non-sensical rants and sermons...LOL
This satirical drawing in honor of douche Caruso? Well, to us he resembles an ape in rags.....wait.....HE IS an ape in rags...LOL
*
Caricature: http://www.caricaturearts.com/index.htm

David Caruso - A worthy cause

Finally, a petition that makes sense:

.....I am glad that I am not the only one that is tired of David Caruso's face and his lack of acting ability. He always says everything the same way in a supposed to be serious and also caring monotone. That's..........what were going to do! So cheesy and annoying.

I think that we should sign a petition that would make it illegal for him to act....

Terrific idea! Where do we sign?

Found on:
http://boards.msn.com/TVboards/thread.aspx?threadid=431946&boardsparam=Page=803

David Caruso - Pole Dancing

According to one fellow blogger Icon of Idiocy David Caruso is the most hated person on TV. The man has a point. After all, those who despise the ginger minge outnumber those delusionals who like him by far:

....But while we’re on the subject of bad acting, my absolute worst and most hated person has to be the guy on CSI Miami, David Caruso.

I can’t stand this guy and the way he talks and acts.
I just don’t understand how the networks keep him on, season after season. If you're not familiar with this guy just watch the first 5min of any CSI Miami episode and you should be able to spot this sorry excuse for an actor in no time....

Nicely put!

Found on:
http://randomanthem.blogspot.com/2009/02/part-time-status.html

David Caruso - Kicking Caruso's Ass

Steven Bochco. Why we mention this highly influental/sucessful persona of the TV-world here? Simple. Steven Bochco was the one who - back in 1994 - kicked Icon of Idiocy David Caruso's ass ROYALLY. Nobody likes a selfish prick like Caruso. Not back then. Not now. Legions of Caruso-detractors all over the world think Bochco deserves a medal!
Lets take a closer look at the many achievements of the prolific writer/ producer:

Steven Bochco was born in New York City into a Jewish family. He went to work for Universal Pictures as a writer and then story editor on Ironside, Columbo, McMillan and Wife and the short-lived Griff, Delvecchio and The Invisible Man. He wrote the screenplay for the 1968 TV movie The Counterfeit Killer and worked on Silent Running (1972) and Double Indemnity (1973). He left Universal in 1978 to go to MTM Enterprises where he had greater scope for producing. His first effort there was the short-lived CBS police drama Paris, notable as the first show on which James Earl Jones played a lead role.
He achieved major success for NBC with the police drama Hill Street Blues. It ran from 1981 to 1987 and Bochco was credited as co-creator and also wrote and produced.

Bochco moved to 20th Century Fox (which ironically now owns the MTM library) where he co-created and produced L.A. Law (1986-1994) which aired on NBC. This series was also widely acclaimed and a regular award winner, but also achieved far higher ratings success than Hill Street Blues had enjoyed.
In 1987, Bochco co-created the half-hour dramedy Hooperman which starred John Ritter but was cancelled after two seasons, despite Bochco offering to take over direct day-to-day control of a third season. Hooperman was part of a lucrative deal with ABC in 1987 to create and produce ten new TV series, which prompted Bochco to form 'Steven Bochco Productions'. In 1992, Bochco had created an animated television series, Capitol Critters, along with Nat Mauldin and Michael Wagner.
After a lull, Bochco co-created the long-running NYPD Blue (1993-2005) with David Milch. Initially controversial at the time, the show was created with the express intention of changing the nature of network one-hour drama to compete with the more adult fare broadcast on cable networks.

In 2005, Bochco took charge of Commander in Chief (2005-2006) which was the creation of Rod Lurie and brought in a new writing team.

It was announced in March 2007 that he has taken his first steps into internet tv with the 44-episode "Cafe Confidential", each episode being 60-seconds of unscripted 'confessions' by members of the public.
Steven Bochco also received numerous awards/prizes:
10x Emmy Awards
2 x Humanitas Prize
2 xEdgar Awards
1 x Directors Guild of America
1 x Writers Guild of America

In face of this very impressive list, Caruso's meager achievements are all but dwarfed. Some even think Caruso poisons everything he touches...

Source:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Milch

David Caruso - Crystal Ball

Ever wondered what the (TV ) future might hold in store for us? The following is a hilarious outlook on CBS and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso:

.....CBS is poised to make a run at the season’s ratings championships with an exciting new lineup.
They are also set to challenge the 10-spot on any given night with seven new spin-offs from their hit “C.S.I.”, including “C.S.I.: Pembroke High,” “C.S.I.: Neverland,” and “C.S.I.: Teenage Males Who Spend Obscene Amounts of time in the Restroom.”
David Caruso will star in each, until his exponentially increasing megalomania will, yet again, incite him to flee to Hollywood, were he will translate his mediocre television skills to atrocious B-movies.....

What a nightmarish vision!

Found on:
http://www.yankeepotroast.org/archives/2004/06/highlights_from.html

David Caruso - Caruso's Megalomania

Ever wondered WHY CSI Miami is losing more and more viewers?
Blame it on Icon of Idiocy David Caruso:

....Is it just me,or is David Caruso getting an inflated ego (again)? It seems for the past 2 seasons he's not only super-humanly clever,but he's the only one allowed to be a hero.....if you need someone pulled from an exploding building,call "H".....if you need CPR,call "H"...if you need a sharp-shooter to take down 5 or 6 bad guys,call "H"....
Caruso seems to be the only one on the show now who's allowed to get those key moments. It's starting to get irritating.
The show used to be much broader. Everyone had a chance to be heroic. Now,everyone else just steps aside and lets him be the hero.
I'm losing interest and if it continues,I'm gone..(Bannikus)

Found on:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0313043/board/thread/130458450

David Caruso - Sunburned by a flashlight

Icon of Idiocy David Caruso....and a few very fitting assessments of him by a fellow blogger:

....Does this guy even realize just how much of a douchebag he really is? If not, then he is completely devoid of self-awareness and apparently has some frontal-lobe damage that he needs to address.
Furthermore, how is it possible that some delusional people out there think he is a good actor? This guy is the Brett Favre of Hollywood! He is a pompous prima donna, full of hot fart air, a loathsome, wretched, self-serving prick in dire need of being kicked in his genital bag (providing he actually has one)...
Need more proof? Here you go!:
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03172008/gossip/pagesix/cranky_caruso_bullies_csi_102297.htm
As you can see, if you shoot a scene with Caruso and a dirty, puke-laden mop in the same room, the mop will easily out-act him and will be far more humble about it.
And his character's name on CSI: Miami is HORATIO??!!??
OK, maybe I can't hang that one on him. That belongs more to the script and casting department that actually hired him...
Who ever decided that a pasty, red-haired, ass-faced individual who stands a good chance of being sun-burned by a flashlight would make a good Horatio?!.....
*
Found on:
http://organicmeatbag.blogspot.com/2009/02/david-caruso-i-hate-you.html

David Caruso - People want to punch him

Seriously,what TV-viewer doesn't feel the need /urge to punch Icon of Idiocy David Caruso after watching an episode of CSI Miami?

....David Caruso - I still think he's a jagbag for leaving NYPD Blue b/c he was too big for it. The fact that he got bailed out by the hourlong crapfest known as CSI: Miami hasn't changed the fact that he needs to get cracked in the face badly....

LOL. WE wholeheartedly agree.

Found on:
http://flamingpizzapans.blogspot.com/2009/02/list-of-5.html

David Caruso - Duo Infernal

LOL. P. Diddy and Icon of Idiocy David Caruso again!
We truly do hope that the second episode with the rapper turned actor will turn out a bit better than "Presumed Guilty". Somehow we doubt that. But hope dies last, right?
A fellow blogger has his/her very own thoughts about the "duo infernal" P. Diddy/D. Caruso:

......Oh my gawd, I am so sorry I missed this.
Did the sky turn to blood?
Did it rain up?
Did a giant gaping maw open in the earth and give us a glimpse of Hell?
'Cause I'm pretty sure that the amount of anti-talent in that room caused some sort of cosmic disturbance. I love the camp and shine that is CSI:M.
But, on a side note, I would consider selling my soul to see them doing a performance of "Say Say Say."
David Caruso can kiss my chocolate...over-acting sumbitch ...

Found on:
http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2009/02/diddy-csi-miami.html